[She opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it. She'd never meant to see this after her death, just as she was never supposed to know about her father or brothers, to know the truth behind who had killed her and how cursed her family really had been. Maybe she's not meant to know what he means by that either.]
Then don't tell me. [She finally answers as she picks up her teacup and raises it to her lips.]
[He's stuck then. Caught between giving her the rest she deserves and not putting any further stress on her mind and relieving his own pent up emotions that have been coated in the black casings of grief and regret. He'd cried to his sister, that he had been a fool and never admitted his true feelings to her. Here now, presented with the opportunity, he is unable to do so once again.
A look of torment is quickly hidden away as he forces a smile. Inside, he's screaming.]
[She frowns at him over the edge of her cup. She's seen that expression of his somewhere before, but she can't place it. The nostalgia is so heavy that it makes her chest feel tight, but still she can't figure out what it means.]
[Considering the circumstances, at least. It's not a lie - he is well in most ways. His heart, on the other hand...]
I missed you.
[He won't elaborate any further considering her prior order, unless she yells at him. His smile is there, soft and rooted in place, even if his eyes betray something else. He's careful not to let his emotions spill any further.]
Concerning - whatever it is that you're keeping from me.
[She doesn't put 2 and 2 together that what's causing him angst has anything to do with what he still wants to say. She's more concerned that he hasn't been able to handle the grief of the last week well.]
[He knows she doesn't mean it to hurt or harm in the slightest, but his heart feels dejected. Perhaps he should never tell her. Was there even a point to it? He'd swallow his feelings like he had his grief and continue on with it.]
[She's still unconvinced, but she drops it for now. Mostly because she feels like her face is going to melt with how red it's gone as she considers all of the things that he hasn't said vs. the things that he's put out on this table. If it's obviously burdening his heart that badly...
No, she doesn't even want to think about it. Not right now.
She drinks her tea in silence a while, hands clasping the cup so hard her knuckles nearly go white.]
[He'll silence himself as he spots her red cheeks, his own turning pink as he searches his head for something to say. It's a burden, surely, but he'll endure it for her sake.]
Have you ever been rowing?
[His words are blurted out as he stares at her, still pink.]
The weather should be nicer soon, enough to go rowing. If you were interested...perhaps we could go!
I've only gone with my older brother when I was much younger.
[Innocently!! But she hesitates after she says it, her expression dropping considerably. She'd said it, but now that she stops to actually try and think about it, it's a very fuzzy memory.]
[She says it like a joke, but her eyes are still closed as she continues to attempt to remember Ernest's stupid expression as he'd tumbled out of the boat.]
I see. How kind of your parents to adopt two orphan boys, even with such a large family already.
My late uncle Vincent used to throw large parties around Christmas and invite children from the orphanage to celebrate the holiday. I always found it incredibly kind of him and my late auntie Rachel to do so.
['Kind'. Right. She doesn't know exactly why her father brought those two into the house, but given what she's learned of him, it couldn't have been for 'kind' reasons. But she keeps that to herself because she doesn't have the energy for that type of conversation right now.]
That sounds more kind than anything my family did. [She pauses and then adds:] The Nightrays ran an orphanage, but...those children. Most of them were probably killed the same night that I was.
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Then don't tell me. [She finally answers as she picks up her teacup and raises it to her lips.]
At least...not today.
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A look of torment is quickly hidden away as he forces a smile. Inside, he's screaming.]
When the moment is right, then.
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Are you okay?
[She hasn't even asked him yet, really.]
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[Considering the circumstances, at least. It's not a lie - he is well in most ways. His heart, on the other hand...]
I missed you.
[He won't elaborate any further considering her prior order, unless she yells at him. His smile is there, soft and rooted in place, even if his eyes betray something else. He's careful not to let his emotions spill any further.]
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Tell me the truth.
[She's not falling for that face, Edward.]
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[Shit.]
Concerning what?
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[She doesn't put 2 and 2 together that what's causing him angst has anything to do with what he still wants to say. She's more concerned that he hasn't been able to handle the grief of the last week well.]
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[Still not getting it.]
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[And then, it hits her. Finally. And she is too exhausted to tsun this hard.]
N-never mind, then...
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...Of course.
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No, she doesn't even want to think about it. Not right now.
She drinks her tea in silence a while, hands clasping the cup so hard her knuckles nearly go white.]
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Have you ever been rowing?
[His words are blurted out as he stares at her, still pink.]
The weather should be nicer soon, enough to go rowing. If you were interested...perhaps we could go!
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I've only gone with my older brother when I was much younger.
[Innocently!! But she hesitates after she says it, her expression dropping considerably. She'd said it, but now that she stops to actually try and think about it, it's a very fuzzy memory.]
I think...I think we did?
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Did you enjoy it?
I took Lizzie before, while mother and father rowed in their own boat.
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I can't remember. I thought I had...Ernest rocked the boat to scare me, but ended up falling in himself.
[But for the life of her she can't remember his expression or what he'd said afterwards.]
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[She says it like a joke, but her eyes are still closed as she continues to attempt to remember Ernest's stupid expression as he'd tumbled out of the boat.]
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[He can't imagine it. Really, he can't.]
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[She feels that she has to make this distinction more clear.]
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My late uncle Vincent used to throw large parties around Christmas and invite children from the orphanage to celebrate the holiday. I always found it incredibly kind of him and my late auntie Rachel to do so.
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That sounds more kind than anything my family did. [She pauses and then adds:] The Nightrays ran an orphanage, but...those children. Most of them were probably killed the same night that I was.
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[She sighs and puts her cup down again.]
If I ever dream of it again, promise me you won't watch.
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